Some recent interactions on twitter has inspired me to tinker on things and inevitably write about them, more so for my own growth of understanding… for as I pull what I feel out into words I gain more clarity.
We all talk about changing the world, we all use words like compassion, equality and diversity as the keys to expansion. What I have watched in the change making sphere begs me to question why is it that the very peeps who want a kinder more compassionate world, one where equality and diversity reign seem to be the ones that practice it the least?
We have a fundamental problem within humanity that is part of the root to all our problems we face and it feels like the biggest contributors are often the ones who say they want a new world, yet they cling to a type of consciousness that limits our potential. So, wtf am I talking about here, just get to the point? I'm not even sure I can, I'm still reaching.
We've developed a habit of preaching about diversity but shaming it at the same time, it's like the diversity is fine and dandy only if it's the diversity I agree with. We post images calling for compassion for animals as if we truly understand what compassion is, we speak up for equality but only when it's the kind of equality we deem righteous.
Life is all about relationships, our relationships with each other, with the planet, with ALL life. There is absolutely nothing more than relationships. NOTHING. The conflict between two countries, the conflict between two industries say coal and solar, business collaborations, cause collaborations or the tension seen between people on social media - it's all relationships.
It's not the thoughts that differ that is the issue, it's the fact that we are so small minded that we don't recognize that we don't see things as THEY are, we see things as WE ARE. Even more we have the audacity to place how WE are onto another being, completely dis-valuing their thoughts, how they are and in turn completely throw up walls that do nothing but cause distraction to actually creating change.
Our perception comes from within us, it comes from the thoughts we CHOOSE to believe. There are countless people out there who will look at a homeless person and within seconds create thoughts about why they are living on the streets: they are lazy, they didn't put the effort into working- countless stories that THEY believe. Furthermore, because they aren't evolved, they then shame this person because of THEIR(OWN) thoughts, they turn their head, they banish them, they may even make judgemental comments as they pass these souls by, all without knowing that persons story, all without talking to them, all without being truly open minded.
We suck at relationships. We love people who kiss our ass, we love people who are desperate to fit in and go a long with our thought streams. We tend to group together other like minded people into our sphere, slowly closing down the door to all objective thought because we don't like those people. Most of the time, we don't like those people because we've believed a story of who they are in our heads, and we run with it. Never personally approaching someone to truly open an relationship with them, OR TO HEAL ONE ....find out who they are, why they think that way and what's happened within their own learning curve to help propel them into that thought pattern - we just form an opinion based on OUR perception, OUR stories that we believe about them.
We continue to welcome more beings into our realm who think like us, or at least seem to be like us and we cast out those who are not. All because of what WE think. We do this in business, politics, war, and everyday life. How this method working out for us? For centuries we have had countless people who think the same way band together. People who are against racism stand together, people against animal cruelty stand together, people against eco destruction stand together. Racism still exists, even though there have been beautiful strides made, though I personally think it's pretty pathetic when you honestly look at how far we've come- it's still rampant. Animal cruelty still exists, eco destruction seemingly expanding at a rate unfathomable. How's this banding together sameness REALLY working for us?
It's not, lol. It's like having a powerful, limitless eagle that can and should soar like a force of nature, only each wing is a side we've chosen to "Be" on based on the STORIES WE CHOSE to believe. The only way we are EVER going to evolve or expand or solve ANY conflict is to stop casting out our contrasted beings, and learn how to find the value they too have to bring to the solutionary table. If we ARE GENUINE, IF WE ARE SERIOUS about changing this world then we recognize this. All else is just fluffy good feel stuff we BELIEVE is good, and gives us that warm notion that we are doing good things for the world. We MUST learn to fly WITH the other wing.
Everyone knows the quote : We grow outside our comfort zone, and oh my god this is so true… yet we continually shun the people or thoughts that take us out of our comfort zone, our happy little cliques of people who think just like me, think I'm fab cuz I post fab little tweets that aim to save the planet, we're all good peeps, and everyone else is questionable. Even more within our happy little -we are the same cliques- we find that there are those that function sooooo well within these groups that they begin to create favourites. Favoritism, ah.. the surest show that you are a shallow, comfort seeking manipulator who's ultimate goal is to build your minion clan, so that you can surround yourself with people who think JUST and only like you. I've watched a lot of favouritism happen over the last few years. It was an exceptional learning experience and that concept of "keeping with the same" and casting out the unusual, the divergent, the bolder, perhaps more brash , honest , real really flourished. Things tend to flourish when they are feed, watered and nurtured.
Watching the behavior of these humans was honestly the best education one could get on the state of the world and how and where we are failing tremendously within relationships. The biggest failure of all, is the relationship with ourselves. Another blog topic perhaps.
So my point that I feel like I'm getting at here is that we are quite good at encircling our "sames" and even better at believing our own thoughts enough about another human that we have never met, never truly spoken with to cast them out as bad, or on the flip side, think is the sweetest, most amazing human on the planet. We have become so damn good at believing OUR own thoughts that we worship people we have never met, never able to sit and watch them in their private environment, with their colleagues etc solely based on what they "post" to be.
Really think about this for a second.
There are so many of us out there that think some celeb is so fabulous because they like kids, or animals or are supposedly environmentalists. You read their posts, see their picture, watch "appearances" read their crafted media interviews and you BELIEVE those thoughts because their are your own, or you relate to those thoughts. Your reaction to those posts is based on your perception, you don't see it as they are, we see it as WE ARE, as YOU are. You have no idea if this person is truly a great human being, you have no concept how much of a hypocrite they could be nor do you have any idea if they are the real thing or if it's all learned scripted sound bites that have worked in the past- no idea. Likewise, with a "commoner"... the things they post, the things they think or share - you understand them, relate to them perceive them not as they are, but as YOU are.
Recently this awesome sauce quote was posted through Origin8. It speaks to the harmony of what's needed in mentoring. The post is factual, true and valuable.
Through which ever eyes, whichever mind that consumes and relates to the words herein - they are seeing it AS THEY ARE. So for example, one consumer viewed it as something passive aggressiveness, which led her to become defensive, and ultimately passive aggressive. Others related to the honesty, the clarity and the ultimate truth that mentoring is a ying yang, and requires a collection of of both gentle and formidable.
You see things as YOU are. NOT as they are. So now only assuming, which we all know makes an ass out of you and me, but here serves the purpose of example, let's assume that a person who see it as passive aggressive must be perceiving it because of a story she is believing. NOTHING exists unless it's observed, and we observe from WHO WE ARE. The statement within is complete contrast…. and guess what? Contrast is FABULOUS. It's the realest shit you can find on this planet. And there is nothing passive aggressive about this post save for anyone who perceives it to be, that aggression is happening within you, for nothing exists unless YOU create it. The interactions that ensued inspired me to write my thoughts out today, congratulations for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write, think and feel my way through understandings - I am grateful. The difficult, less easy parts of relationships with fellow humans are highly unrated and so very powerful, if we could only learn.
We do not need more people who think the same to band together, we need more people who think differently to UNDERSTAND each other, to dialogue, to learn. We need to truly wake up and recognize that we believe things from within ourselves, through the stories and thoughts WE CHOOSE to believe. We need to learn how to find understanding inspite of our differing thoughts. We need to learn to deal with conflict head on, and not with any horns out, but with the objective awareness that we MUST try to understand so that we can solve, create a new, become new.
There's a shit load of new age loveliness going on out there that helps us propel this idea of casting out the different, the divergent, the "negative" and only focusing on the positive, the non negative, the value in that concept is real, absolutely when you've tried first- really tried. Climate deniers deny the negative of climate change being real, they focus on the positive, they say " oh it's natural, it's fine, its the way it's supposed to be!" . Climate awakeners know their IS negative and the ones that WILL create change are the ones that aren't afraid to face the negative with the objective awareness of understanding, of which is to be applied to their future thinking. They know they cannot cast out all climate deniers as asshole idiots who are just confused, dramatic little people- they know they need to hold them, talk with them, learn from them and help them open their minds to POSSIBILITIES by understanding their thoughts so they can marry their thoughts into a complete picture just like he well known image below, although I'd tweak the image even further by blurring the hard lines into free flowing feathered entangled pieces.
Some of my most cherished relationships in my life right now are so full of contrast it's actually terrifying. I have a group of people in my life that are truly unreal in their capacity to practice what I'm sharing here. I don't own one friend, one relationship where the individual blows smoke up my ass. Not one, and there are a few in my life that have been in my life for decades that are on the other side of my thought fence - we don't agree on many items, we don't see things the same way, we've fought, we've hurt each other. They have become my favourite people, the people I look to when I need to sort something out in my life. They help me grow, they present a divergent thought stream from my own. We have succeeded at this thing called relationships in the manner the world needs to succeed. We have so much respect for each other because we have all truly spent our energy trying to understand the other, not judging but merely contrasting, ESPECIALLY when there is conflict, learning how to do this makes me feel utterly fearless and IS what gives me the courage to face what I face with my daughter Ayven.
You don't need a hundred more people in your life that think like you, need you a few more people in your life that don't. Treading carefully and being honest with yourself, to recognize that you see things as YOU are not as they truly are is the unveiling of the bullshit story you have been gobbling up like an addict and it will give you the ability to dislike, disagree with someone, someones thoughts, ideas etc but still find IMMENSE VALUE in them. It will give you the ability to move outside of your childish ego and recognize the opportunity that lies before you. We will not heal this world until we begin to heal the ego we find in between the nonsense of what we have chosen to believe without any proof, without any dialogue with out any HUMAN effort to understand.
If you genuinely want to change the world, please do be happy in your little circles of same, there's value within you can't find anywhere else, but for the love of god get off your high horse and expand your "compassion" your "equality"… your "better world" to outside your happy circle. Expand it to the disagreeable, to the negative, to the shadows. Befriend them, ask questions, genuinely listen and learn and in doing so you may just change one heart that may have never been able to change previous to YOU per even better, they might change your heart. This is the very reason why I try friending people who are aggressive, brash or even seem bully-ish on twitter- they have something to teach me ABOUT MYSELF - if they didn't, the contrast wouldn't be present in my observation field. I try, because I've learned that some of the most profound relationships come from connecting with someone so outside your thought process, growing with them- creating such a real relationship most of us can't even relate to it, because there's "no smoke up ass", "no gain in same", it's ALL divergence, and it's hard. It's really hard, dealing with conflict, struggle - challenge is how we grow.
We need to recreate how we "relationship" on this planet - don't cast out negative or divergent: understand it, love it and learn from it, don't give up on people because they hurt you - changing the world will come when we continue inspite of pain, when we put human effort into growing together. Mother Teresa, Buddha and Jesus Christ and any god of love would be shaking their heads at how we've completely missed the point.
When you read something online that YOU have a REACTION to, instead of judging, instead of allowing YOUR perceptions to lead YOUR reactions, try this simple thing... pose your perception as a question instead of a statement. Try befriending the person, off social media, try talking to them on the phone, have a genuine dialogue with them- LEARN from them. If you can't do that you might as well pack up your world changing bags and hit the fucking road, you're useless to the ones WHO NEED CHANGE MOST, you are incapable of TRULY loving the misfits, the divergents and perhaps helping them grow into a new way of thinking and most of all you're a pompous fucking coward fooled by the smell of your own shit.
This is me seeing things as I am as well, I see that we scream we need a better world but the ones screaming better world love to find drama to further delineate, they habituate their own stories and place those stories on others. This is me recognizing that every time I interact with another human, I either reject their right to their own diversity - judge them or become open and try to understand them - and create potential strategies towards solutions to our differences.
Regardless… there's a fundamental truth here we are not dealing with properly: we don't need more of the same to band together we need more of different to understand TOGETHER.
To the young girl who felt that post was passive aggressive, I welcome you to talk with me - personally. Understanding your perceived stories with the post will only further help me understand even more in my own growth, and it will ultimately help me share,write, think, feel more blurrrrrrrring the lines between ALL of us.