When we were children and came home to tell mom we’ve been bullied, often the response is to ignore them, it's ironic to me that we feel we should ignore the negative. That we should move along on our merry way, ignoring, we even think doing so is spiritual somehow. This concept moved into adulthood, however.... instead of ignoring someone who has different, opposing or negative views, we cast them out. People unfriend each other, cut of contact with the “toxic” people in their lives- all claiming this is self protection, a spiritual choice of focusing only on the positive. That’s the evolved thing to do, remove toxic people from your life and voila, magically your life will be more full of peace, more full of meaningful relationships that don’t disturb your peace.
I call bullshit on this line of thinking to the very core of my being. Casting out people who have negative or opposing thoughts to ours is a sign of our utter incapability to practice what we think we are achieving by “removing” these people. Life is full of hardships, mean people, who most of the time have grown up with mean people, it’s full of opposition and conflict and hurt “feelings”. It's division. Period.
If you want to truly change this world, get off your high horse and stop fooling yourself into believing that this way of thinking, being and changing is anything but hypocritical. Now, I certainly believe that if you’re being abused you need to change your situation, certainly removing yourself is the option that makes the best sense forward. What I am talking about here is the interactions you have with people. Be it about politics, or your new mate a friend doesn't jive with... it doesn’t matter the topic in this realm, in fact the stickier, the harder, the more moral plaguing you feel it is the more important it is NOT to cast out, unfriend, and alienate. Remaining with, connecting with, dialoguing with, being human with, having compassion with these opposites, these conflicts is the ONLY way we are going to transform as a species. All wars, have an "us versus them" and it’s no different within our daily interactions- when you cast one out because they disagree with you, because they think differently, when someone has wronged you and you’ve not given true effort to help heal it, you are nothing more and nothing less than the epitome of our problems today, you create them, you fuel them.
I am so tired of seeing so many good people with strong hearts, and values hide behind their cloak of being evolved and capable of making true change in this world that cannot even practice what they “say” they are trying to embolden within our youth of today and tomorrow. If you cannot work out your shit with your fellow humans, because they think differently than you, if they dislike your friend, if they believe in a God you don’. If you have cast out people in your life without putting in every truest effort to heal the rift, to find common groun, or for judging someone based on an others opinion of them then you’re nothing more than a fake fuck, a fake spiritual-less, compassionate-less, self righteous fuck. Plain and simple.
When faced with conflict in life, recognize that it’s YOUR responsibility to put forth true effort into resolution with whomever, or whatever is being presented to the utmost of your character before casting out, before quitting without trying. To all the alleged change makers who have done this to others, you’re nothing more than a sham and are precisely the root of the problem you’re self righteously claiming your helping to fix.
In the year ahead, what I wish most for all humans is to learn to deal with conflict with true character, compassion and forward thinking. For if we can find the gift in the darkness between a relationship gone astray, between two families, between two countries, between two religions we’ve solved our only truest problem we face on this planet.
Life is not for pussies, I promise you that. Sticking your head in the sand, and casting out all your pretty little negative excuses into good and bad piles is nothing short of kindergarten behavior that has absolutely gotten us to where we are in every realm, from climate change, religion, sexuality, war. PERIOD and until you can genuinely say that you can, have and do deal with your conflicts with as much effort as required, until you can recognize that your judgements are no different than your foes you’re full of fat ass shit and the only work you should be doing in the world is work on yourself and your relationships.
Division begins with each and every one of your choices to cast aside, to cast out, to lay people into piles of good and bad. Our job is to learn how to be WITH the opposing, how to connect, join and build a collective combined way of thinking through the growth the effort provides by trying to remain friends with people who think, feel or act differently than we do,enabling, perhaps an inkling of a shift in EACH of us.
I have learned more from people I have not liked, people I completely and utterly disagree with on so many finite levels than from anyone who has thought, felt or acted similar to me. If you’re presented with conflict in your life, it’s a fucking gift, I’ve said it a thousand times in my short life. You don’t run away from it with your judgements, you don’t hide with it in your circle of similarities. You face, it, you WORK the fuck on it, you do it with honesty, love, compassion and respect. This planet and its life is doomed if we cannot face the conflict we are ALWAYS going to face within the diversity of humans that we are. As you can tell, this has really been chapping my ass lately.
I’m just very, very bored of seeing so many people who claim to be change makers, who supposedly aim to create a more peaceful, just, kinder world behave like utter asses within their personal relationships by literally BEING the problem.
If you’re a change maker, if you want to create a better world for all, then work on YOUR shit. Make the effort to solve, collaborate, dialogue, touch, speak with the humans in your life and sphere and stop casting people out because you’re too fucking lazy to put in an effort to help heal, solve, grow and change.
Cheers to a new breed of humans who are not afriad to face the negatives, who are not afraid to put in effort, to grow from the challenge, to solve to forgive, to mend, to heal and learn how to genuinely be with the world of contrast out there.